Wednesday 27 June 2012

Things we heard...

Sitting on the metro in Dubai a young boy was repeating the station announcements to his dad. The announcement would be something along the lines of "The next stop is Dubai Mall". And the little boy would say "Daddy, daddy, the next stop is Dubai Mall". We had to laugh though when after the announcement "The next stop is Dubai World Trade Centre" the little boy very excitedly said to his dad "Daddy! The next stop is Dubai World Train Centre!"

Visiting friends in Dublin we were told that we were "going to go to a real pub. A pub for a pub". Apparently there are too many diddily-eye pubs in Dublin for the liking of most Dubliners.

"Innit". Nobody quite knows what this means, but sit and wait for a London train and you are bound to hear one of the local teenagers say it. Also usually followed by "know-what-I-mean" and a few expletives.

At a restaurant in Florence: The menu stated that "12% service charge is included". An American at a table close to ours, who had made a point of being annoying all evening, asked the waiter "Is this the same as a gratuity?". The waiter, not missing a thing, responded "It is a kind of a tax".

Israeli Airport Security: "Why did your boss send you here? And why did he send you now? Why couldn't he send someone else? How many people work in the company you work for? Where did you go while you were in Israel? Where did you stay? Did anybody try to make contact with you?"... The whole security clearance process ended up taking 3 hours.

Nigerian Immigration Control Officer: "So while you were visiting this place, did you show favour to the locals?".
Me: "Yes!"
Nigerian Immigration Control Officer: "Well then maybe you can show some favour here now?"
Me: ???

Oh, so you live in one of those countries that has 9 months of winter and 3 months of bad weather.

A sign outside a Coffee shop in Rotterdam: "Auto correct parkeren, anders geen verkoop" (park your car correctly, otherwise no sale) - is it such a problem that they have to put a sign up? Guess that is what happens when you smoke the good stuff...

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